U try to hide the feelings that u don’t show.
N time goes by but damn it really moves slow
Now home alone at night that’s when u start to lose hope
U can’t trust no one to talk so they don’t know
All the pain u got it bottle up inside
They say it’s best for ur soul if u clear ur mind
So u roll up the let downs and failures
Look at em one good time and inhale em
And they even say that’s bad
But u rather be high than sad
What do they know?
About them feelings u don’t show.
U enjoy your nights rest
For tomorrow starts another one of life’s test
And when it gets hectic u decide to exit
Too consumed in your hurt so ya problems u neglect it
Can I have a normal day ?
When things are ok?
When ur not in your head
Walking around half dead
Pressure on the brain
Life is a soap opera all u can do is complain.
Another 24 down another to go
Roll the problems up, inhale em after u roll
My love life is non existent
There’s no romance
There’s not even a man
Shit not even a woman
Time stands still
Like those first few seconds of waking up
Asking yourself is this real?
Yup your alone, in that queen size bed
You’ve been ready to upgrade to a king
but with out one?
Eh, too much room to toss n turn
Just another example of the emptiness that you yearn to fill
You don’t like the public.
You avoid crowds
But you crave that empathetic connection
With just one being
Just one who will understand
How your as complex as statistics
Variables changing at any given time
Your soul is beautiful
So why can’t anyone see
Why am I alone
When I have all this love, affection, and knowledge to share with another.
I desire face to face , skin to skin , chest to chest contact
But I guess the desires of the heart sometimes go unfulfilled.
I guess god doesn’t think I’m ready
Should I prepare more?
Or maybe he’s gearing up my soulmate for what’s in store
Until then Love just doesn’t exist here.
They forgot how to count…
because they didn’t add me
But somehow I realized I looked Better separately
See I don’t need to be in any competition
I’m a God fearing woman sent on a mission
And I say that with all due respect
Because they look at me crazy when I demand it
See nothing given to me was ever handed
I stand firm on the ground feet planted
Prayers and self motivation
The struggle of being a black woman in this nation
Raising my kids with peace in mind
reinventing myself time after time
Letting go of society’s expectations of me
Coming to terms with the reflection I see
Loving thyself wholeheartedly
Living my best life MORALLY
No I’m not perfect, sometimes I do the most
But like perennial flowers, I have seasons of growth
No more chips on my shoulder
I don’t wanna be heartless n colder
I’ll release the Love I wasn’t given
To create a better world to live in
Your feelings. Not right. Not wrong. Being a Pisces they say The Arts is the only real way to feel free and yet connected. we tend to find our true purpose through the Arts. Poetry is one of those Arts. As an avid writer aspiring to become published one day, I’ve spent many months to myself. Going from Mother, Student, head of household. All while still being a young adult and trying to navigate through this crazy world. Within this time Ive written many thoughts to myself, those of which I have only recently worked up the courage to share with you guys. I will be posting more often. More poetry at that. I would love any feedback and any opportunities to network with other poets and hopefully be able to perform some of it aloud.
I lay awake in commiseration thinking about my own life.
Externally I’m bold, brave , beautiful.
Inside I’m drowning, wallowing In self doubt trying to maneuver new ways to be happy.
No matter how I work the equation I can’t seem to solve the problem.
There’s no solution.
No amount of food, money, or spirits can take this pain away.
Everyone says to get back up and keep going.
Ok ok I got off of the ground.
But now how do I get the shackles off of my feet?
Everyday is a constant battle and struggle.
A struggle to except that my life is so different from what I expected it to be.
Ur not here
You’ll never be here again.
I’m not the same.
I don’t feel the same.
My reflection doesn’t look the same.
I am broken.
I am broken.
I am broken.
There’s no way to fix it.
I count the seconds
Of all the time that has passed
And still nothing.
Time is not as healing as I expected.
How can you say you haven’t committed a crime?
How can you say u didn’t mean to harm any one?
You sir, are a murderer.
And here lays my lifeless body as my soul shatters from you saying goodbye.
You caused the tears that drowned who I used to be.
You sir, have been charged with one count of kidnapping.
You barged in and took my time, my life, my joy, and sense of self hostage.
I know I said I’d die if you leave, so they thought it was suicide.
But sirrrr!, when they find that knife u left planted in my vertebrae….
They’ll be sure to know it was murder in the first degree.
Let’s face it. You planned this.
You lay and waited for the time I had you so confused with God, that you acted as such and decided to take my breath away😪
Don’t worry, I prayed for you in the act.
So hopefully this message won’t haunt you so much.
Rest in pity.
U gave me tears,
I created an ocean.
U caged me in,
i wrote songs sweeter than any bird could ever sing.
U left wounds physically and mentally;
but I healed myself better than any doctor ever would have.
U left me stranded, hoping that I would never get back.
I found a route without needing a GPS